What are 5 adjectives you think of when you first see yourself in the mirror? What are 5 adjectives you think of when describing your personality and character?
(Answer the first 2 questions before moving on)
Do any of the 10 adjectives you listed have a negative connotation? Why or why not?
Through deep reflection and recent confrontation, I have come to find that self-doubt, a “not good enough” mentality, and a deficit view of ourselves serve as severe insecurity boosters that can arrest our adolescent spirits, causing us to hold back, feel confused or unworthy, and prevent us from wholeheartedly being our greatest selves. In order to break the old habits, though, I find it necessary to start by being completely honest with ourselves, by learning how to trust our primary thoughts & inclinations, and by sharing those deep internal challenges or struggles with someone other than just ourselves.
On a personal level: We can begin to ask questions such as,
“Who am I? Is there anything holding me back from being who I truly am or strive to be? What and/or Why/why not?
(If applicable) Do I ever feel unworthy or “lesser”? Why/why not? Am I great? Why/whynot?
What were to happen if I were to fail? How would I respond? If I fall down…does it even matter? Do I care what others will think?
Am I in charge of my own character and life direction? How can I assure that I will always be in charge?”
Beyond the self: This past week, a good friend allowed me to confess my previously avoided insecurities. It was a friend who listened and allowed me to honestly speak, and a friend who confronted me stating, “It hurts to know that you are so incredibly hard on yourself…that you dwell on what is lacking, and not on what is illuminating in your spirit.” Right then, I understood the root of my disheartening condition, and I recognized the beauty of true friendship; understanding, listening, and growing from the subconscious consent of mutual vulnerability. A friend to hear us out, to challenge negativity…may be what it takes to change the mentality…and set us free:
These mental games we play
If we’re not careful, can get in the way
Of what makes us who we are;
Those smiles that shine brighter than the stars
Are too precious
To let the shadow of doubt or the clouds of regret
Hover over our conscience
Eager jaws upset
That the ominous forecast
Prevented pure thought
Prevented pure words
Unshackled freedom they sought
But freedom can’t occur unless our neurons see light
The deficit storms overpowered by the bright,
Radiant rays of the most critical honesty
That recognize and address
Our own insecurity
Time to share and breakdown, letting rainstorms pour out
Tears of revealed revelation, so personally paramount
The games are over, because we’re no longer alone
No longer hiding ourselves, from the empathetic sun
Freedom, it feels
Like life is delicious
Looking at the beauty, ignoring all ill wishes
Because what matters most is our greater vision
Knowing that we make the rules
As the founders of our life’s mission